I have been part of the online dating game now for more or less six months, and some things just keeps baffling me.
- Pictures on the profile: Many people use online dating services like Tinder, Happn and Bumble. I’m sure there are more out there, but these are the ones I have been using. Often the photos on mens profiles are bad quality, not of the actual person, but of a beach, a gym or a beer (yes, that really tells me who you are), and then there is the category of men, who use photos that are 3-5 years old. For me the point of creating a profile, is to hopefully meet a nice man and start a relationship. So why would I put an old photo of myself on my profile and misrepresent who I am now? I mean…the thruth will come out once we meet, right?
- Why have a profile, if you are not going to communicate with the matches you get? What is this “match collecting” all about? Again…is the main purpose not to meet and hopefully hit it off? I don’t care if you are looking for a relationship or just something casual, but not responding seems counterproductive in my world.
- Honest communication: I guess I am at an age, where I would expect mutual respect in my conversations and communications. No, it does not feel great to let someone down or tell them that you are just not interested, but in my book, once you have ventured into interaction with another person, the least you can do, is treat them with respect. Not responding is not respect. Do have the courtesy to send a message saying “No thanks”. It is to be expected that some dates will be duds. Fine…but remember to send that follow-up message saying “No thanks”. I ventured into an interaction with a man, and we wrote back and forth. I enjoyed the conversation, his profile seemed to make sense to me and his photos (the few that actually showed his appearance) were pleasing to me. We switched communication media and on this new media, the profile photos for this man was completely different. He looked much older than in the dating profile pictures. Having an open mind, I thought…hey, we all have bad photos taken once in a while. It might be a fluke. So I sent a current photo of myself, in hopes he would reciprocate with a current photo of him. He did. And the photos confirmed the difference from the profile photos to present. There seemed to be at least 2-3 years difference. Exactly the issue mentioned in puzzlement no. 1. It would be fine, if the guy’s appearance had improved from the old photos, but in my mind, it had not. So how to solve the situation? Well…one word…honesty! I simply wrote the man, that I found a discreptancy between the profile and reality, and eventhough I had enjoyed our conversations, it kinda killed the attraction for me. He actually took it very nicely.
I know, I have been away from The Dating Game for five years, but I had actually hope that joining again at my age, would mean more respectfull behaviour, honest communication, and last but not least men who knew how to court a woman. Boy…was I wrong!!