As some of you may know, I lost my relationship, my home and job i August 2015 due to infidelity. I’ve heard it said that if you loose two of those three main parameters in your life, it put you under severe pressure. Should you loose all three parameters simultaniously it can reck havoc on your mental state.
Last year when all this happened, and I was thrown into a sea of uncertainty, the only remedy that had an effect was walking. I hiked the west coast of Jutland hoping to find peace, understanding and my identity. Cause who was I without relationship, home and job? It was a terrible time in my life, but at least it made me fit.
As I walked I slowly improved, and learned to be vocal about my feelings and began to deal with it all. It was not a nice time for me, but I learned a lot through it all. Where would my future take me? Would I ever be able to trust another man again? What would I do with my life, now that I wouldn’t be smoking fish? It seemed to me there where more questions than answers, but with the support of my friends I began to make progress.
In April 2016 I returned to Copenhagen. It felt good to be back and to discover that the friends I had left behind four years ago, were still there to welcome me back. It meant the world to me and I spent the summer rediscovering the city and looking for work. I got a job as PA at DARE2 – an exciting position in an unknown world. The startup world is a constant source of energy, people work to the bone to push their idea, and the positve and colorful atmosphere really made an impact. It has even reinforced my belief in my own little production of beauty products.
Let me return to my starting point….when your whole life is taken from you, it scars you as it did me. It is not something you just bounce back from easily. It take time to reconnect with yourself and search out a new path. Eventhough I have enjoyed my time with DARE2, the job and not at least the amazing colleagues, something has not felt right inside. Stress is showing it ugly face, and I have finally leaned to react when I sense it. Yesterday was the last day at the office for me. I leave DARE2 as friends and without any burned bridges. I am very touched by their understanding and compassion.
My dad’s recent illness has also made a huge impact on me. He was diagnosed with Myelomatosis in August and has been going through treatments since, and luckly he seems to be responding well to the chemo. However the fact that my mom passed away exactly seven years ago due to cancer, does get your thoughts going when your only remaining parent is hit with the big C. I will be the first to admit that I have struggled dealing with the situation and seeing him sick and frail.
So now what? Well, I’m currently writing this onboard an airplane to Madrid. I have donned my hiking boots, packed my backpack and plan to walk the Camino Frances starting in Burgos. I need to go away for awhile and walk, simply because I know it works for me. I expect to be gone around two weeks, and I will attempt to keep you in the loop – not only about my pilgrimage but also to attempt to share the many thoughts I know will arise.